She can feel the blood rushing in her veins, she can hear her own heart beating as if she had wrapped her hand directly around it. Even though she’s sitting still she feels so restless and like she can’t relax at all.
Everything is just too much. There’s no time. There’s no time.
There’s not enough hours, minutes and seconds in the fucking day to get everything done.
Maybe time is just something we’ve constructed as a people, but either way she just needs more of it, whatever it is. It’s clear that she’s so goddamn frayed at the edges and yet she doesn’t stop. She doesn’t know how to slow down.
Her days are all work, school, studying, chores, more work, more assignments and a blur of everything in between. She’s at that point where even though she doesn’t have any tasks to do she physically can’t relax.
Her mind won’t ever shut up and just let her be.
She gets into bed at night feeling behind. No matter how hard she pushes on and how much she does, it’s never enough. She ponders, while she lays there with troubled thoughts about tomorrow, how did I become so stressed that I’m not even sure who I am and what I like to do for fun anymore?
So yeah, I wrote this…something. Today was just a shitty day and I felt really stressed because of life happening. Of course there’s always legit things to stress about like meeting deadlines for schoolwork, your job, home situation etc, but sometimes it’s like my mind just sees everything all at once. It doesn’t try to process or filter anything at all. I put the weight of the freaking world on my own shoulders when there’s absolutely no need for me to.
I really feel like the Twenty One Pilots song “Stressed Out” really resonates with me. I’m assuming you all know that one, and if not, then you should go listen to it so you know what I’m talking about 😛
If any of you could relate to this please be sure to let me know!
And if you feel like chatting a bit more, I’d love to hear your thoughts on stress and the stress levels on the rise around the world.
I don’t know when next post will be up, but hopefully it won’t be longer than two weeks. I’m really trying to manage my obsession with having to do everything always, so at the moment I’m treating this blogging thing as a hobby so I won’t lose my cool completely. I know I will never be able to define myself as a “chill person”, but that’s alright. For now, staying sane is good enough.
Bye and stay (in)sane till next time! And also, enjoy this photo ‘cuz it’s hilarious.